a life saved
I just wanted to let you know that I really believe this site helped to save my life. When I first stumbled across it, I thought the partying tips were cool and funny and maybe even helpful. Delving deeper into the site and reading people's stories changed the way I looked at partying. I realized from these stories that I wasn't unique in anything that was happening in my life. Other people's friends didn't understand them. Other people had trouble juggling all that cruising and going to work. Other people hated answering the phone or the door or questions of any kind. Other people had stopped talking to their families. Other people had stopped having any emotions but annoyance, anger and frustration. Other people had become HIV positive. Other people were dying inside.
I guess it just became "crystal" clear for the first time to me that I was on a road that was the same road all the other tweakers were on. And when I really stopped to think about it, I knew where that road led. I had seen it. I had partied with them, or I had turned them away at the door. They were dirty, they were unemployed, they had cat poop on their kitchen counter, they had lost their jobs and their teeth. That's where I was headed. And I just didn't want to go out that way.
I'm six months clean now. I go to clubs, parties, and even sex parties. I don't crave Tina anymore. I think the thing that really helps is that I see what an ugly bitch she is. Do I miss the awesome sex? I have a whole new kind of awesome sex. The kind where I cum. The kind where I sleep. The kind where I don't hate the other dude 15 minutes into it. And the truth is, I think I miss my t-cells more.
When I decided to stop, I couldn't imagine being clean. I couldn't imagine feeling better. But I'm here to tell you, boys, I am stronger, happier, more secure than ever before in my life. No one can tell you to stop, but I am here to tell you that you don't have to hit rock bottom.
Thanks for the great site.
Bill